After a month doing project #1, I started doing the patternless project #2 and finished it first because along the way I realized it’s smaller than #1. I think I could finish it in 3 weeks or less if I did it constantly. And because the pattern of #1 makes the dress, or whatever it meant to be, too heavy for a baby, I decided to restart it almost from beginning. So much for challenging myself xp I think I do have problems with order.
Well, here is #2..
It’s still kinda sloppy but I’m happy with it. Moving on to next project! ^^
The dress still needs about 15-20cm to go but actually will stop till I’m out of yarn. Guess it won’t be a dress after all. A fluffy blouse is still cute, right?
Half-way through my should’ve-been-a-changing-experience dress, I’m still a hardly committed person. Still half-way through and I couldn’t stop myself to imagine other Rana projects. So.. I’m adding another month to finish my 1st project. So typical of me.
A Facebook friend gave a link about being a new (or different) person for a month and how it could change ourselves for the better. I seldom challenge myself seriously. Here’s the link.
So… I challenge myself to finish a baby sundress by Anna Phelps in a month, marking 23 June 2013 in my calender (and alarm)!!!
Speaking of challenge, I’ve described how I’m battling with my interest to be an entrepreneur whilst I keep on treating my projects as hobbies and feeling bashful to introduce my products to other people (narcissistic pics that I took of them don’t count!). It’s a click away in turning my hobbies to be serious business. I only need to thicken my skin and be more proud of my work. Changes and adjustments.
What I think is hard for me to change is my confidence. I tend to automatically act as a subordinate for others. It’s stressful, realizing it yet not doing anything to overcome it. Writing about it pushes me to be more open. But does it really? In my mind; I know how to write (clumsily), I know how to speak (in an unorganized manner), I just don’t know how to share (oh I do share, but maybe not the right thing). Oh, dear me.. Why don’t you wake up and start now? I’m a mother now, why am I still battling this? *sigh*
Borrowing Brother Barney’s phrase, CHALLENGE (SHOULD BE) ACCEPTED!!!!!
I’ve baked some recipes over and over again this past two weeks, or so. On Wednesday my mom asked me to make chocolate banana quick bread for her bowling team. While so, I thought, why not make muesli bread also? So I did. Two recipes-in-one for each. I almost got a heart attack because the quick bread wasn’t burnt evenly and my bread didn’t rise. Four failed recipes would be enough to make me cry. Thank goodness both were not THAT disappointing. Mom’s team mates ate up all of the choco banana, and the muesli is planned to be finished tomorrow ^^. Toasted with butter. As crunchy as a crouton.
This morning I made myself a glass of iced apple tea with lemongrass and orange after baking another batch of chocolate banana quick bread – Yes, yes, I’m finishing the banana stock at home. The tea wasn’t as good as I hoped for. But really, after some time considering, re-thinking, reconsidering, and so on about what my business will be, I tend to not stick to plan. Just today, I thought of making homemade ice cream. I’m still figuring out the how-to’s in making it. No worries. It’s still just an idea. Stacking above other ideas I have in mind.
After realizing how I see my need-to-bake, a question hits me: If (almost) daily baking tires me, do I really have what it takes to become a real baker? Or should I become “just-a-mom”? Speaking of which, I think it’s kinda rude when people assume that being “just-a-mom” means we have all the time in the world to do anything one mom wants. I’m just complaining. Being a homemaker is a 24/7 thing, despite with whom I’m still living with and how much help I’m getting. Jiayo, all moms!!!
I wanted to continue writing but I have a terrible eye condition; they keep shutting down and need to rest :p
This morning, I chatted with a friend, continuing our small discussion about homeschooling our children. At the end of the chat, I wrote, “The happier, the more passionate (the child will be).” It gave me more thought about my own passion. What am I really passionate about??
When I was younger, given the many pressure to be successful by my mother, I only wished to be happy. Not until some years ago I found out that happiness is actually a state of mind, a mean in achieving objectives, just a tool. My enlightenment came a bit late ^^;
Then I recalled the day when I was interviewed prior to entering a club in high school. I was asked about my main reason in taking part of that club. I said, “My friends”. Although he was only a year ahead of me, what he said to me afterwards hit me. He told me to come back if I then altered my answer. Surely enough, that club gave me friends but I did not want to enter it. It was not my passion. But in that age, friends played a big part in creating happiness, right? So, I could not think of another answer other than what I gave. I passed the opportunity to enter that club.
Having Rana into my life gives me a better perspective in seeing what I’m meant to be in life. Life’s hard but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t have fun. I reduce my fears little by little. Although I still couldn’t define what my passion is, my objective is clear. Not every question has answers, but every experience could give us wisdom. Hopefully.
After a really long time missing in action in the blogging realm, I’ve finally gained enough spirit to start all over again. A friend’s note tickled my wanna-do-something-but-haven’t-done-much senses. Yes, I am having the role of my dream, as a mother and wife. Yes, I’ve resigned my translating job many many months ago. Yes, I am far from consistent and could not hold my own commitment towards myself. Mehhhhh..
Amidst of learning on how to become a real mom – still living with my parents makes me feel more of a daughter than a mother, let alone a wife, whooopss xDD – and still trying to figure out what I really wanna do for le business of mine, I learn how to do some knitting, crocheting, and baking. As for cooking… Not so much. I let the husband to be the more active cook, except in preparing for Rana, where I think I do (must) contribute in that area. Should I write that in capitals to make myself sure? 😀
I’m also trying to continue my amateur wire jewelry work. Doing bits of many things, productive yet not that productive (yet). Still a hobbyist, not yet a businesswoman. And now I’m going to sound like Britney Spears.
As for the title of this blog, Seeking My Yum, I think it’s like seeking the inner beauty for things we’re attracted to. Like finding the core power in workouts. Like embracing the delicious taste that lingers on.. Yum!! 🙂