The Result

After a month doing project #1, I started doing the patternless project #2 and finished it first because along the way I realized it’s smaller than #1. I think I could finish it in 3 weeks or less if I did it constantly. And because the pattern of #1 makes the dress, or whatever it meant to be, too heavy for a baby, I decided to restart it almost from beginning. So much for challenging myself xp I think I do have problems with order.

Well, here is #2..
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It’s still kinda sloppy but I’m happy with it. Moving on to next project! ^^

After That Challenging 30 Days..

The dress still needs about 15-20cm to go but actually will stop till I’m out of yarn. Guess it won’t be a dress after all. A fluffy blouse is still cute, right?

Half-way through my should’ve-been-a-changing-experience dress, I’m still a hardly committed person. Still half-way through and I couldn’t stop myself to imagine other Rana projects. So.. I’m adding another month to finish my 1st project. So typical of me.

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Challenging Myself

A Facebook friend gave a link about being a new (or different) person for a month and how it could change ourselves for the better. I seldom challenge myself seriously. Here’s the link.

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So… I challenge myself to finish a baby sundress by Anna Phelps in a month, marking 23 June 2013 in my calender (and alarm)!!! 

Speaking of challenge, I’ve described how I’m battling with my interest to be an entrepreneur whilst I keep on treating my projects as hobbies and feeling bashful to introduce my products to other people (narcissistic pics that I took of them don’t count!). It’s a click away in turning my hobbies to be serious business. I only need to thicken my skin and be more proud of my work. Changes and adjustments. 

What I think is hard for me to change is my confidence. I tend to automatically act as a subordinate for others. It’s stressful, realizing it yet not doing anything to overcome it. Writing about it pushes me to be more open. But does it really? In my mind; I know how to write (clumsily), I know how to speak (in an unorganized manner), I just don’t know how to share (oh I do share, but maybe not the right thing). Oh, dear me.. Why don’t you wake up and start now? I’m a mother now, why am I still battling this? *sigh*

Borrowing Brother Barney’s phrase, CHALLENGE (SHOULD BE) ACCEPTED!!!!!

To Do or Not To Do

I’ve baked some recipes over and over again this past two weeks, or so. On Wednesday my mom asked me to make chocolate banana quick bread for her bowling team. While so, I thought, why not make muesli bread also? So I did. Two recipes-in-one for each. I almost got a heart attack because the quick bread wasn’t burnt evenly and my bread didn’t rise. Four failed recipes would be enough to make me cry. Thank goodness both were not THAT disappointing. Mom’s team mates ate up all of the choco banana, and the muesli is planned to be finished tomorrow ^^. Toasted with butter. As crunchy as a crouton.

This morning I made myself a glass of iced apple tea with lemongrass and orange after baking another batch of chocolate banana quick bread – Yes, yes, I’m finishing the banana stock at home. The tea wasn’t as good as I hoped for. But really, after some time considering, re-thinking, reconsidering, and so on about what my business will be, I tend to not stick to plan. Just today, I thought of making homemade ice cream. I’m still figuring out the how-to’s in making it. No worries. It’s still just an idea. Stacking above other ideas I have in mind.

After realizing how I see my need-to-bake, a question hits me: If (almost) daily baking tires me, do I really have what it takes to become a real baker? Or should I become “just-a-mom”? Speaking of which, I think it’s kinda rude when people assume that being “just-a-mom” means we have all the time in the world to do anything one mom wants. I’m just complaining. Being a homemaker is a 24/7 thing, despite with whom I’m still living with and how much help I’m getting. Jiayo, all moms!!!

I wanted to continue writing but I have a terrible eye condition; they keep shutting down and need to rest :p

 

 

A Thought About Passion

This morning, I chatted with a friend, continuing our small discussion about homeschooling our children. At the end of the chat, I wrote, “The happier, the more passionate (the child will be).” It gave me more thought about my own passion. What am I really passionate about??

When I was younger, given the many pressure to be successful by my mother, I only wished to be happy. Not until some years ago I found out that happiness is actually a state of mind, a mean in achieving objectives, just a tool. My enlightenment came a bit late ^^;

Then I recalled the day when I was interviewed prior to entering a club in high school. I was asked about my main reason in taking part of that club. I said, “My friends”. Although he was only a year ahead of me, what he said to me afterwards hit me. He told me to come  back if I then altered my answer. Surely enough, that club gave me friends but I did not want to enter it. It was not my passion. But in that age, friends played a big part in creating happiness, right? So, I could not think of another answer other than what I gave. I passed the opportunity to enter that club.

Having Rana into my life gives me a better perspective in seeing what I’m meant to be in life. Life’s hard but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t have fun. I reduce my fears little by little. Although I still couldn’t define what my passion is, my objective is clear. Not every question has answers, but every experience could give us wisdom. Hopefully.

A Calling

My mom likes to bring home bananas. So, I have many reasons to be creative with them. To be creative is really an over-statement when all I can do is make smoothies and quick breads [slash] muffins (seriously, I still could not find the difference between them. Also with cupcakes, but thanks to the icing, they’re different enough).

ImageThis is la banana choco bread. I took the recipe from this website

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This is what the bottom looks like😀

ImageThis is it, with its partner hohohoho..

To be frank, making this recipe on and on and on makes me kinda swirly when sniffing egg batter. Oh, me and my slim nose.. But nonetheless, when mama brings banana, I get my calling :))

The Maker in Me

I’ve been discussing with a lot of people about the problems I’m having prior to starting my own business, and the conclusion is still the same; I enjoy the making process more than the marketing part. The other issue I’m having is the nonstandard result of my creations. Lemme share some of them with you..

ImageThese babies, I made a couple of days ago. You can see how evident my inconsistency is in the batches above. FYI, they are my yummy dark choco semi bitter cookies. The color is not because I over bake them. Trust me, I’m honest O:)) I got the original recipe from Mr. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

ImageThis was my breakfast this morning. One of my many breakfasts this morning. I asked Mba Mutya for the homemade dressing recipe, thanks to my paying-attention-but-care-less attitude when watching the cooking channel. Too much distraction when seeing food, made or the way they’re eaten. The way I photographed it, it looks slightly unappealing.. Maybe for other people ;D

ImageWhile this baby here is still waiting to be processed. My muesli bread.. I got the original recipe from Ms. Jenna.  I kinda like it, and my family said this is the best bread I’ve made, by far. Happy me!

So, what do you think? Still working on my quality check, that’s for sure.. One other thing, maybe I post them here, but that doesn’t mean I’m confident enough to make other people try them. Problems, doh!!!